whats left now

.....ok....i just read my post.....i don't have a problem with fellowship.....bible studies.....or scripture memorization.....i'm trying to ward off attacks......

.....i just think some people put way too much emphasis and energy into them....in a way it's a little selfish....honestly i miss bible study.....we used to host it at our house.....i miss the study....i miss the fellowship (what a corny word, let's 'ship with the fellows?....)...anyway......it's just.....well, do i need to clarify?......it's the priority.....it's the balance.....i think it can be a cop-out for us....."i'm not in a good place, i just need to focus on god for myself"......blah blah blah......i went through depression, i've been through alot of crap in my life and still tend to struggle in areas....but i know the only way 'out' is by serving others.....serving myself just feeds into to the 'woe is me' syndrome....i like what i heard a friend/pastor say once.....he said 'if every bible was wiped off the face of the earth, we'd still have enough knowledge in us to push us on to do what god expects of us'....i'm not advocating that we stop reading our bibles, but it's not all about that....it's almost like getting a box of your favorite chocolates (i'm a girl, guys make it a video game).....and you are with a group of your friends......you have this giant box of chocolates.......you open it up......pull out the nutritional information and read it over and over and over to your friends.....you quote it to your neighbors.....you copy it down and memorize it....you are amazing at it......people marvel......but the actual chocolates sit and rot......because you are selfish? i don't know, you finish the analogy......oh well.....this has been quite a rant for the night.......who knows it may get deleted......lol