whats left now

......if i haven't been candid before....i will be now....the following song speaks volumes to me and for me......it is called 'breathing'....by lifehouse

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace
 
I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be
 
I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time
 
I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now



i really love this song because of its honesty.....the way i interpret it.........i need to be satisfiedwith
just waiting on god....just being quiet......learning to know his presence....shutting everything else
and not expecting anything from him........just stop..........i know we have a job to do.....but....i
personally have been so worried about the job i have to do that i haven't listened to my 'boss' in
a very long time.....not even listened.....just be there....whatever....

i could have highlighted the whole song...but the lines i highlighted....


I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?


i just want to know him.......i don't know him like i should.......i'm gonna take a breath...
.........hold on tight.....spin around, yet one more time, and fall
back, yet one more time, into the arms of grace........
............................................................thank goodness his arms are always there...
 

ok...i don't know if blogging is for me.......i just typed out yet another long semi-deep post, then deleted it........i'm not so sure i want people knowing my deep thoughts.....i'm not so sure i want to have to live up to them..........i like a little mystery about me.....it's funny as much of a talkative person that i think i may be....there's alot rattling around inside that isn't ready to come out yet......actually.....i don't even know if this will make it to the blog...............eh, why not.............i guess i gotta post something...........i'll just keep posting about posting about not posting..............does that make sense?

ya gotta love rainy days....especially the chilly ones....now before you boo and throw tomatoes at me......you cannot argue that hangin' out on a day like today with your family....reading a good book.....watching a good movie....snacking at random...drinking hot coffee in the middle of a july day...........well...it's just the best.........and with that said..............i'm off to work............

i recently saw a t-shirt that said 'what wouldn't jesus do'...it got me thinking...i thought of all the things we do that we think are so..." churchy" (fill in the blank....i was going to list things but then i get carried away)....jesus was a part of the people of his day....and i think if he were here on earth in 2005....he just may be hangin' out in starbucks or even playing basketball....just got me thinkin' that's all..................

...................................................so what are webdings for anyway???



i had to post about something insignificant, it's been a while...................

decisons.....they are what make us who we are.....they are what make us different......they are what define us..to quote a line from the new batman movie...'it's not who you are underneath, but what you do'...at first i wasn't so sure about that...but then i realized there is alot of truth to that because nobody really knows who we are underneath anyway....we are judged by how we live our lives.....what we do....the decisions we make............. .......i just deleted half this post........i find i get so cynical about things that it doesn't really benefit anyone to read about it............just read between the lines i guess..................sometimes i think i type a post.....then delete it because it was mostly just for me anyway............................................................

when i was a kid i remember driving somewhere as a family and my dad pulled up to a toll booth........he decided to pay for the guy behind him........we all swung our heads around to see his reaction and he looked forward at us and gave a big quizzical smile, then waved....that has stuck with me.......you see those bumper stickers 'practice random acts of kindness'.....it's the little things that usually make someone's day...................