whats left now

......i do not like to jog.....i makes me sweaty and gives me cramps....but i was thinking the other day after dale & i had a conversation about some stuff that we were frustrated about.....and though i tend not to use analogies....this one just literally came to me with no effort......

......you see people jog alot.....on treadmills.....on tracks(is that what they are called?)...and on the street......it made me think...........am i stuck on the treadmill of life?......just running in place, going NOWHERE.....nothing changing around me.......all alone, still getting the exercise i need but using something else to help move me along.......hmmm....then i thought.....or am i on a racetrack......running in circles.....with the other regulars.......enjoying what's going on around me.......letting others see me run and do well at it.......or last but not least........am i out on the street.......braving traffic.....going uphill.......going downhill......entering new environments......meeting new people everywhere......not just joggers..............


i don't know......i don't even have a great conclusion or moral to this........all i know is......it seems like church tends to be one huge treadmill sometimes.....get off the stinkin' treadmill....

.....remember the first time you had doritos?..........



.....doritos are yummy....

.......some torn pages.....some missing pages.....some marked pages....some highlighted pages....
....i know people use the book/life analogy alot....but i wasn't thinking of it in the traditional sense....it kind of struck me when i realized that it's ok to keep some pages to myself for now and someday i may just put those pages back in my book or may just throw them out....but for the most part i'm pretty much an open book...my cover is getting older....but it adds character......hey at least it still has it's spine.....

.............i like reading quotes......

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

Mark Twain

....agree or disagree.....??

..........ready?
...............as soon as you read the question.....
.......post your answer.......be honest....
































.........what's most important to you?

.....when the air temperature is hotter than our internal body temperature, well, that's just way too hot............



........40 days until fall.......

not that i'm whining.....but this week has been hec-tic.....i figured i'd document it........a week in the life of a soccer mom.......day one.....sunday.........up in the wee hours to deliver the papers......off to church.....home for a nap....off to prodigy.......day two....monday.....take audrey & gwen to vacation bible school.....off to church for a meeting.....after meeting help fold clothes for school days......home, quick dinner....take emily to soccer practice....home.....day three.....take audrey & gwen to vbs.....errands with emily.....pick up girls.....pick up gabrielle.....go home to get bathing suits for pool w/gabrielle....pool closed.....go to mall instead.....take gabrielle home....go make dinner....take dale to basketball game......day three.....wednesday....take audrey,gwen austin & noah to vbs.....grocery shopping.....down to church to help set up backpack room.....home at 10.....day four.....thursday.....take audrey & gwen to vbs....go pick up a bag of clothes from michelene for school days....home....pick up girls....pick up gabrielle.....go to narragansett to see horse.....take clothes to church....take gabrielle home.....dinner...basketball game......day five.....friday......today.....take audrey, gwen, austin & noah to vbs.......errands with dale(husband)....pick up girls.....pick up gabrielle......errands with gabrielle......take gabrielle home.....pick up emily....meet sabrina at church for school days.....come home at ???...day six.......saturday...........school days..............bed early -hopefully- ......day seven.....sunday.........paper route.......church...............
...........................................funny thing is, i feel full this week.........a good full........................................
.................not the kind of full like i've just eaten a bunch of junk..............but like i've just had a real healthy meal and i feel good.......energized to do more.........i think the only person that got short changed this week was my husband...........sorry dale..............

..........i guess i said all this to say.........i don't know really...........maybe just that right now it's tough, wearing so many hats, so to speak, but in a way it's an honor too.....that i've been given responsibility and i'm finally starting to look at it that way, that god put me here for this and i need to start.......
doing........
IT........
right................
IT....being...................my life.........................

thanks..........you know who you are..........thanks to you who really listen..........thanks for sacrificing time and don't remind others you've done it..........thanks for the smile........thanks for the hug........thanks for really listening (i know i said that, but it's important to me).....thanks for telling the truth, even when it's hard to.........thanks for giving..........thanks for helping....thanks for saying yes when no when else does...thanks for saying no when no when else does.....thanks for being like jesus....thanks for caring about my family.....thanks for really listening......thanks for caring about others more than yourself.....thanks for loving what you do......thanks for letting the junk roll off your back....thanks for teaching me to be a better person......thanks.......again.......you know who you are.......there are a few of you........and you know who you are..........thanks for being you............thanks...........you know who you are........

so, we watched the movie 'supersize me' last night.....it was very interesting.....it made me realize a couple of things i never thought i'd get out of it........

1. i judge people who jump on (what i call) bandwagons
2. i do not eat healthy at all
3. i completely separate our country into liberal/conservative.....democratic/republican
4. i don't want to continue 1-3
5. i'm not sure i'll ever eat a fast-food burger again
6. mcdonalds fries are not real food

ok....let me explain......#1.........i've always judged people who had weird 'causes'....i'm not sure why...i guess i have just always believed that any cause that seems to take precedence over christianity or evangelistic 'causes' is no good...........#2......speaks for itself......i've come to realize...through watching the movie that we americans tend to poo-poo bad eating habits instead of lumping them in with smoking, drinking, drugging.........#3..........the line is so blurred these days that i'm starting to realize i just need to have my own set of beliefs.....some may blend together from both sides, but as long as they line up with what god expects of me its ok....
#4..........i'm making a conscious effort to change.........at least try.......#5........hmmmmm.........
..............#6................in the movie they hadn't changed composition when stuck in a experimental jar for 2 months.............what do ya make of that????....................

.....the connection.......every set of lyrics below was written by someone who knows what a relationship with god is all about.....they've all grown up in a fundamental christian home......i just found it sad that all of these people have somehow lost their way.....after my post about 'finding my way' i just was contemplating these lyrics and wondering what happened that would bring these artists to the point of despair and what seems like no hope in their lives....but then i realized, it really doesn't take much.....not even a major life crisis really...sometimes all that happens is that someone close to you has let you down and given you a distorted view of what a christian is.....not that we can ultimately blame anyone else when we reject god, but like i've said before.....i don't want to be a negative point of reference as a christian.........sometimes i feel as though i am but at least i'm aware of it and will continue to keep myself in check.....am i what a christian should be?.....am i drawing others to god?.....or turning others away from god?...........

............i've often wondered if those who have chosen to walk away from following god have an empty space in them that haunts them.....because i often do and i haven't walked away......what is 'walking away'?.....because in these lyrics my first reaction was....'gosh, they wouldn't feel that way if they were still walking with god?'....but is that necessarily true?.....don't we all feel these same things?........why?.....should we always feel complete?.....whole?.....satisfied?....strong?.....
when 'walking with god'?.........................

these are just some things that have been rumbling around in my head lately?......